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Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Iluko SMS Ticklers

Among the Ilocano text jokes* I received last sem, here are the top 4 in my list:

1. Park

Boy: Sukitek dagiti bituwen nga isagot ko kenka! [I'll snatch the stars and give them to you]

Girl: Nah, dim pay masukit ta duggong mo inyan to ket dagita bitwinen? [Bah! You can't even pick your nose...]

Boy: Jak la impagarup nga pati duggong ko ket kayat mo... [I never knew you also desired (my) booger]

2. Street

Lasing sumisigaw: Hoooooh! Rumuar amin nga natured! Nagsilabasan ang mga SIGA. [Drunk shouting: Hoooh! Come out, toughies!]

Siga: 'Pay'a! Nya probleman? [Tough guy: Got a problem?!]

Lasing: Itulod dak man agawid!  Mabutengak gamin... [Could you please walk me home? I'm scared...]

3. Penal Colony

Guard: Hoy!!! Agparutka man ti ruut! [Hey!!! Keep weeding!]

Balud [Prisoner]: Madik! [No!/Don't want to!]

Guard: Agparutka wenno saan? [Are you gonna keep weeding or not?]

Balud: Nagtulengka! Nu 'bagak nga madik, MADIK! Uray man nu ikkatendakon nga BALUD! [You're really deaf, are you? If I say I don't wanna do it, i won't! I don't even care if you kick me out of prison now!]

4. Restaurant

Juan: Kapi man, with milk. [Coffee please. With milk]

Waiter: 12 pesos sir.

Juan: 10 la di kalman. [It was only 10 pesos yesterday]

Waiter: Ngimmina ti gasolina sir. [Gas prices went up sir]

Juan: Han mu nga ikkan ti gasolina! [Well, don't put in gasoline (in my cup)!]

5. House

Anak: Tang, anya sidatayo? [Dad, what's for dinner?]

Tatang: Pusit ti sidatayo, anak. [Squid, son]

Anak: Apay ngay nga kamatis met ti adda ditoy lamisaantayo? [Why do I see only tomatoes on the table?]

Tatang: Pusit garud, ipusitsitmo ta kamatis iti bugguong! [Yeah, that's what I mean -- squeeze out the tomatoes into the fish sauce!]

*Text messages from Junley Lazaga -- "straightened out," of course, for readability. Puns in the original language are "lost in [my stilted] translation."


These jokes (which may not really be funny to those outside our culture) not only gives us a peek into how Filipino wit works but also into how he uses humor as part of his coping mechanism in the midst of any personal or national crisis.

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